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Writer's pictureAimee Reese

Exploring the Emotional Toll of Being an Executive Assistant: A Deeper Dive into Managing Stress, Personalities, and Feeling Undervalued


A few weeks ago, I wrote an article discussing the good, bad, and ugly sides of the Executive Assistant (EA) role. After sharing this piece, I received many messages, comments, and questions about one aspect that resonated with many of you: the emotional toll this role can take. In response, I wanted to take this opportunity to dig deeper into this crucial topic, as it often goes unspoken but is felt by so many administrative professionals.


Let’s break it down further and explore the key emotional challenges that Executive Assistants frequently face, along with some tips and insights on managing them.


1. The Emotional Toll of the Role

Being an Executive Assistant can be deeply rewarding but presents unique emotional challenges. You’re often tasked with supporting high-level executives in demanding and high-pressure environments, which can sometimes mean absorbing a lot of their stress, anxiety, and pressures. Over time, this emotional load can build up and become overwhelming.


Managing Personalities and Expectations

One of the most challenging aspects of the EA role is navigating the diverse personalities of the executives you support. Not every executive is easy to work with. Some may have high expectations, while others have unpredictable or difficult temperaments. As an EA, you are often the buffer between your executive and the rest of the world, absorbing their stress and the pressure of meeting their demands.


How to Cope with Difficult Personalities:

  • Set clear boundaries: While your role is to support, it is important to have limits. Communicate your boundaries in a professional manner, ensuring that the demands on you remain reasonable.

  • Practice empathy but know your limits: Understanding your executive's pressures can help, but it’s equally important to recognize when you need to protect your emotional well-being.

  • Lean on colleagues or mentors: Speaking with others who have experienced similar challenges can provide invaluable perspective and coping strategies.


2. The Feeling of Being Undervalued

A common sentiment I heard in the responses to my previous article was that many EAs feel undervalued despite the importance of their role. Executive Assistants are the linchpins that ensure smooth operations behind the scenes, yet their contributions are not always recognized or appreciated.


Why EAs May Feel Overlooked:

  • Lack of visibility: Much of EAs' work happens behind the scenes. You manage schedules, handle communications, and solve problems before they escalate, but these contributions may go unnoticed.

  • Misunderstanding of the role: Some executives or colleagues may not fully understand the breadth of the EA’s responsibilities, leading to undervaluation.

What You Can Do to Gain Recognition:

  • Advocate for your value: Ensure that your executive and your team understand the impact of your work. Regularly communicate the outcomes of your efforts, such as how much time you save, the crises you avert, or the strategic value you add.

  • Ask for feedback and recognition: Don’t hesitate to request feedback on your performance and ask for acknowledgment where appropriate. This can reinforce your role’s importance and ensure it isn’t taken for granted.

  • Seek professional development opportunities: By continuously improving your skillset and making your professional growth known, you’ll highlight your value to the team and executive.


3. Avoiding Burnout: Strategies for Protecting Your Emotional Well-Being

Given the emotional toll the role can take, it’s essential to prioritize self-care and develop strategies for maintaining your mental health. The demands of the EA role can lead to burnout if not managed carefully, particularly when balancing high-pressure work environments and emotionally demanding personalities.


Practical Ways to Avoid Burnout:

  • Prioritize self-care: It’s easy to forget about yourself when your primary focus is supporting someone else. Make time for activities that recharge you, such as exercise, hobbies, or simply taking breaks during the day.

  • Delegate when possible: If you’re working with a team, don't hesitate to delegate tasks. Taking on too much can lead to emotional exhaustion.

  • Practice stress-relief techniques: Meditation, mindfulness, or simply unplugging after work can help manage stress levels.

  • Set boundaries between work and personal life: It can be tempting to be available 24/7, but setting firm boundaries can help you recharge and balance your work and home life.



Recognizing and Managing the Emotional Impact

The emotional toll of being an Executive Assistant is real, and it should be openly discussed. As an EA, you’re often the backbone of an executive’s success, yet the pressures, expectations, and undervaluation can emotionally drain the role. By acknowledging these challenges and taking steps to manage stress, set boundaries, and advocate for your value, you can safeguard your emotional well-being and continue thriving in your career.


I hope this deeper exploration of the emotional challenges of the Executive Assistant role provides some valuable insight and actionable strategies for those of you who are navigating these experiences. Remember, you are not alone in facing these issues, and it’s important to prioritize your well-being just as much as those you support.


Feel free to share if this resonates with you or if you have further thoughts and questions. Let’s continue the conversation!




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